dear you,
"I am not a popsicle,
I won't melt away."

(=

What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?






yesterday i danced and did failed headbangs
in my room behind locked doors
with my earphones plugged in my ears
and the mellifluous voice
of Hayley Williams oozing into my very soul.


i havent done that in a while.
it felt good, letting loose.
(=


i must confess.
i feel a little unsettled without my phone.
(which is confiscated for two months, in case you didnt know [= )
it's not an empty feeling, it's this strange feeling,
it's eating me up inside;
the fact that my loved ones arent eight digits away.
they are, in fact, eight digits plus
the distance i need to walk to look for a public phone
plus a few cents away.
)=


and its bugging me,
this premonition that i can get lost anytime,
and i cant contact anyone to tell me the way home.
i mean, hello, i can get lost looking for Westmall in my neighbourhood, k.
and my little cousin who lives in Jurong knows better!
)=
im scareddddddd


anyway im getting lazier by the second.
hardcore procrastinating has always been my pastime, lol,
but with O's around the corner,
i think i should just drop dead
if i think procrastinating is going to bring me anywhere.


i dont even know where i want to go.
i know where i DONT want to go, thats for sure.
i dont want to have anything to do
with chemistry, physics or excessive malay language.
these three subjects make me feel stupid and they hurt my pride.
)=
ok lame lah


theres seriously nothing much
to look forward to in school these days.
i mean, cant they think of more exciting performances during assembly?
like, maybe,
qualified actors doing skits
instead of some chinese opera or lame drama association
or lectures about not behaving like elephants.


i dont have anything against chinese opera,
but think about it.
after a day of studying,
i think we deserve something more laidback
than something that perforates our eardrums
due to the sad sound system.
yeah thanks ah


and what the hell?
i just received an email,
some random blogshop seller is trying to sell me ripped leggings.
RIPPED LEGGINGS?!?!
leggings themselves are erotic,
and you want me to buy your skimpy RIPPED leggings
for sixteen frigging bucks?!
i can get my own leggings for five bucks
and have a merry afternoon ripping them to shreds
and then sell them for half that price, manz.


anyway Jin Yang bought me Tom Yum tuna the other day.
i wonder if he was being nice,
or if he was just trying to prove his point that Tom Yum tuna exists.
hahahahahahaha! willy is a fake! wonka is a fake!


and yessss, thats right!
Tom Yum tuna DOES exist!
TOM YUM TUNA!
(which isnt as tantalizing as it sounds.
i gave Jin Yang a can of black pepper tuna in return!)


in my fifteen years and ten months of existence,
ive never heard of Tom Yum tuna.
like, ever... until Jin Yang brought it up
as i was feasting on my can of mayonnaise tuna.
and then we had a little argument over the existential Tom Yum tuna.


Jin Yang is nice.
(=
hahahahaha


you know what?
i have a brother and his name is Syazwan.
they call him Pedro, or Zwan, or Wawan or Awan Cloud.
i dont know, actually.
i call him Abang. (=


despite the fact that he's a jerk,
i love him very much.
^.^


i think im going to get film soon.
when, seriously?
i barely have time to travel. =/
i need to bring my holga out.
and speaking of that,
i need to get the Disneyland films developed lah seriously.
)=


i wont have time to blog the rest of the week.
if youre bored you can always hop over to http://www.lovetest.com/
for cheap thrills. hahahahaha
and that was recommended to me by zulfikar, okay.
i dont really search for these sites. hahahaha







Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer!
you have no idea how much i miss having their songs in my ampeefour.
now what's left is Popsicle and Super Ok.
]=
and their songs and CDs are rare,
i cant find them anywhere.


and since you're here already, get a load of this.







introducing Tatiana Del Toro.
what is up with her?



okay i'm off.
bye and have a great weekend, lovelies




ps. thanks so much Eminadia and Lufee.
you're the best (!)







i miss zul. )=

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
Your every line, your every word,
your everything.






warning: LONG entry. i'm sure you missed me. (=





so yeah.
my blog's getting very gloomy, i noticed.
things are happening and there are ups and downs
and i must say last week was rather fruitful.
dramatic, but fruitful nevertheless.


plus i visited Thong Kheng (?) home,
filled with intellectually disabled adults
and it wasnt as scary as i thought it would be.
at the beginning we were terrified.
we all were.
Miss Hong seemed like she was trying her best to look calm
and that didnt help.
none of us dared to mingle around at first,
plus the moment we entered the hall,
the nurses started closing all the doors.
so we were like, trapped, omg.
plus there was this lady who took Nisa's hand and refused to let go
and that freaked us all.
=/



but it turned out well.


there was this lady who called everyone "mama",
and she touched my hair in fascination
and tucked a few strands behind my ear.
then she took them out from behind my ear
and stroked it.
then she asked me where i bought it.
HAHAHAHAHA
she was so adorable, i swear!
and she loved playing with the light on my watch!
=D


there was another lady called Ratan
who loved to shout "CHAMPIONNNNNN!",
while pumping her fists in the air like superman like that
and i imitated her, "CHAMPIONNNNN!"
and then she hugged me! tight!
i didnt know if i should be feeling terrified or touched
but then i decided on feeling touched so i patted her back.
=D
hahahaha!


and there was this teenage-looking boy.
he looked the youngest among all of them.
his name was Yong Xiang and he could speak pretty fluent English.
he was colouring a picture of a monkey
and he said Xiong Yao looked like a monkey.
and then he laughed and i died laughing.
a few minutes later Nick was talking and he said a cuss
and Yong Xiang was like, " *gasps* he say bad worddddd!"
hahahahaha!


and there was this man who drew a house and gave his drawing to me.
i left it on the table and a few minutes later he gave it to me again. =D
but i forgot to bring it home!
)=


and after it all ended i met with Zul and Nabeel and Ykid,
while waiting for Yusri and to return from his CIP.
and omg i havent seen Ykid my sonny in centuries.
he had a really cool cap with an iron-on "Why?" patch.
=O


and then met up with Yusri plus Amir
and i dont remember what we found really funny
but i remember laughing really hard for stupid reasons.
hahahaha and then we started practising for Gig Week
and speaking of that, yes, the Gig Week is still on, people.
hahahaha.


it's kinda strange how people could mishear Estelle's announcement,
she wouldnt be smiling and baring her braces
if Gig Week was cancelled right?
hahahahaha


and she said "Gig Week is still on."
whats the purpose of saying 'still' when the next word would be 'on'?
hahahaha
okay its hard to explain.
never mind!
Gig Week is STILL ON nonetheless and i hope all will support.
(=





i finally remember this video.
the other day they were showing Idol repeats
and i was doing my homework in the living room.
after the auditions, they skipped straight to the finals
and i didnt know because being a good student (self-proclaimed) ,
i was deep in concentration in my homework.

and then i heard an amazing, scratchy but heartwarming voice
and i was like, eh what?
and i looked up and the sight of David Cook practically swept me off my feet.
'practically' because then David Archuleta came in and spoilt the picture.
-___-

i like David Cook's voice!
i like i like i like i like



i think the band is really screwed now.
we've got less then forty days til SYF
and i bet 80% of us havent memorized the pieces,
including myself.
this is totally unlike me.
most of the time we practise so hard that even without choice,
we dont fail to memorize the piece, dynamics and all,
like the previous SYF.


and the Ex-Cos had a talk with the section leaders
and im really inspired to work harder
but i cant deny that i was disappointed when i heard the trumpeters.
and i didnt mean to be harsh with you all, i swear.
)=
but what else can i do to make you all listen??



anyway, im looking forward to the camp this Friday
and the sound check at the conference hall.
omg omg omg *screams*
and im going to lie down at the basketball court
watching the stars like what Tiac Woo said
and im praying it wont rain.
but let it rain.
i like rain.
it rained today.
like, alot.
and i didnt bother to open my umbrella
because i hadnt felt rain on my skin in about a month.
and so i walked in the rain while the smell of petrichor overwhelmed me.


i had lunch at Mac with Zul after school today
then i picked Ikin up from school and bought her Happy Meal
and i swear we almost got lost looking for Westmall.
i live in the neighbourhood but i dont know the place so well.


i eagerly agreed to pick Ikin up from school
and about thirty minutes to 4pm,
i realized that i had no idea where her school is.
fish.
so i hopped onto the bus i see her schoolmates board every morning.


then i had to wait for thirty minutes in the overly-decorated canteen
watching little kids wearing thigh-length skirts sashay past me.


and then i looked down at my own knee-length skirt.
and i felt rather grateful that im quite self-conscious when it comes to thighs.
hahahahaha. ok stop.


i've been scoring measly and pathetic marks
for almost every test ive been taking.
im failing my sciences.
i think im cursed.


i had a talk with my tutor and she has faith in my Bio and math.
she flipped through the recent Bio test that i failed by 1 mark
and got annoyed with me for being careless.
thats the problem with me.
im so careless.
wtf, i didnt even notice the things with holes was sugar agar,
i thought it was some block of wood or something.
seven marks, gone with the wind (?)


but its okay.
i've learnt.
i think.


she said im scoring fine for English and it is,
after all, the most essential subject.


i am quite sad.
but not very sad.
but still sad.
actually im not sad.
just a bit discouraged.


i've bought overdue birthday presents!
i havent bought some people's but i know what Dexter wants. ^^
i prefer people telling me what they want (as long as its within my budget)
to people who say "anything"
which makes it harder to pick or make presents
because you dont know what that person likes.


okay never mind.


i want a $100 voucher to Borders.
even $100 isnt enough!
i think im falling in love with books books books books boooooooooooks
i dont know how im ever going to get enough money
to buy all the books i want in the world.


but still who needs bookshops when you have libraries?
but still its just not the same.
i like to read a book knowing its my book and no one else's,
and that it's all mine, minnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeee


and oh my gosh Ahdila drove me up the wall today
but i still love her very much.
hahahaha she stuffed her Harry Potter eraser
into the space between my spectacles lens and my eye.
wtf?


i pulled her precious eraser out and stuffed it into my pocket
and she proceeded to write a letter to Mifdhal
complaining about me bullying her.
oh pleeeease.


and oh yes!
Miss Hong rearranged the seating arrangement
and no matter how much i begged her to let me sit beside Xiong Yao,
she wouldnt say yes.
she simply ignored my pleas of desperation and pure agonyyyyyyyyyy


i just dont like window seats, i dont know why.
i like window seats in buses, of course, i mean, who doesnt, right?
but window seats in classrooms mean you have to be strong enough
to withstand heat and rain and cold and dust
and bees and whatever random lost and hopeless creatures
that enter our classroom.

Gig Week Is In The Midst Of Being Revived.
things are a wee bit complicated at the moment.
Shari and i are trying.
keep your fingers crossed.

"I know that I brought this all on myself.
I know that i deserve this.
I'd do anything not to be this way.
I'd do anything to make it up to everyone."






The Perks of Being A Wallflower,
by Stephen Chbosky.

Kinokuniya, $24.74.
(=



probably my favourite book in the whole wide world!
until i find a better book.
like MAYBE Look At Me by Jennifer Egan or something
cause its about its about this designer
who is known internationally
but her face was ruined drastically in an accident

and nobody believes it's really her! =O
something like that.

so anyway,
i learnt an astounding number of things from
The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
perfect timing, too.
i love it, i swear.
if it was a boy i'd marry it.


im going to get my copy like a.s.a.p.
Kinokuniya! $24.74!
but is like, Kinokuniya anywhere in Bugis or something?


because i got a message saying
terrorists are planning to bomb Bugis or something like that.
im really ignorant when it comes to matters like this,
plus it was a forwarded message
so its not exactly a reliable source.


nevertheless i sent messages regarding it
to some of my friends
who have more tendency to go to Bugis on weekends.
i know i sound stupid.. but what?!
i dont want any of my friends getting bombed okay.


dad's bugging me to go to bed because its almost twelve.
i never get to stay up til late or SLEEP til late anymore.
)=


and im not sleepy. at all.
i cant seem to find music i really really enjoy these days.
and ive read every book in the house.
well, almost.
only the ones that look interesting.


oh well, i'll re-read the book then!
good night and i hope youre enjoying your weekend.
i am, thats for sure.


i loooove my cousins
even though we dont really talk much sometimes.
i think theyre the best.
BCF mah.


okay shut up zany






i've been searching my soul tonight
i know there's so much more to life
now i know i can shine a light
to find my way back home

one by one, the chains around me unwind
and i have made mistakes in my life
that i just cant hide

Geek Gig Week is officially cancelled.
i hope you're happy now.



and even if you're not happy, i am.
(=




"cry alot = pee less = save water for flushing = save the environment!"
- Radyamansyah (Y)



im not making a big deal out of the incident.
it's very tiring to keep up with,
and the only thing thats preventing me from falling,
are my friends, even the ones i wasnt so close with.


despite everything,
i feel so loved.
people are so caring,
i feel like giving every one of you a hugggg!



im not being dramatic.
really!!!!


anyway, like i always say,
life isnt kind.
but thats okay cause im not kind either.
ah, well.
but being unkind to me wouldnt make you any better than me.


okay, Sally has lent me her book,
The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
im on page 10! (OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH)
cant wait to read it!





ps. my family members are fantastic. love'em.

i've stopped logging in to friendster,
facebook, myspace, and whatnot,
and i've stopped hopping by blogs.


i'll blog when i have to, when i want to.
reach me at inn.zane@hotmail.com


good bye.

"She folded up her fears like paper airplanes,
and lost them in the trees."

i believe that once you've apologized for a mistake,
you should have enough sense not to repeat it.


i believe that friends should tell friends
if theyre unhappy with anything that that friend does
or how that friend behaves.


i believe that if you despise a certain someone,
you do not resort to hypocrisy.


i believe that popularity is over-rated.


i believe that if you want popularity
because it is OH-SO-ESSENTIAL to your life,
you go earn it, and not stand around sabotaging other people.


i believe that if youre not involved in something,
you jolly well keep your nose out of it,
especially if it involves feelings.


i believe you shouldnt 'laugh along' with what others do
when you know what they did is wrong.


i believe that if you have the guts to do something,
you jolly well have the guts to face
whatever consequences that come your way.


i believe that you should fucking stand up
for what you know is right.


i believe that people have flaws.
and, i believe,
that people should be given chances.




i know i've done stupid things in the past,
that made me not-so-well-liked by certain people
and i am sorry.
but whether you like it or not,
this is me, now.
im not forcing you to accept me
but i dont think sabotaging me in any way

(and giving a cheesy excuse for it)
would make you any better than me.

but that is just my opinion.




each of my beliefs are aimed at more than one person,
and it may or may not be aimed at myself.
you read and you think for yourself.




thank you to the people who care,
you know who you are,
but my readers dont =D
so im going to type your names.


Ahdila, Shari, Fat'hil, Farah, Nisa, Farhani,
Wan Hui, Norryn, Dexter, Raveender,
Rui Shan, Mifdhal, Nazmeer, generally 4C,
and those who asked if was okay
or gave me a comforting smile, hug or pat,
and Hafiz and Gwen for being so adorable
=D
i love you all!


and to the people who i've done no wrong to,
i really think you need your heads checked.
(=





bye sunshines
and have a great week.

Cause you remind me of a time,
When we were so alive
Do you remember that?






a happy birthday to Ong Wan Hui!
(her birthday was yesterday)
Wan Hui is sixteen and has nice hair.
She likes to say "eyes small small!" to me
and that is the cue for me to narrow my eyes to make it smaller
because she keeps complaining my eyes are big,
which is so not true.
hahahah


i love Wan Hui!
*hugs*



thousands of apologies you had to read my previous entry.
talk about teenage angst. hmmmm.
lately i havent been in the best mood
and i havent had that much time to do things i really want to.
most of the time im just yearning for sleep.


plus im missing many people.
... even those i see every day.


its very aggravating,
having to feel the pressure to please everyone around me.
ive never been one to bother to please everyone,
but now,
i find myself having this need
to succumb to doing things i dont want to.
i cant really elaborate on this.


i probably need to do a bit of thinking.



stashing aside the vehement melancholy (hahahaha),
yesterday's band practice got me flying over the moon!


it was super super super satisfying
and i want more of those practices!
i could really hear the improvement
and oh my god, french horn's sound makes me orgasm!
yes, to THAT extent!
hahahahaha!


and seriously Mr Chia has the best humour ever!
he's the sort who never smiles or laughs
when he tells his sarcastic and witty jokes.
he doesnt smile often.
and he speaks like monotone like that!
priceless!


yes on a lighter note, too,
me and Shari's proposal has been approved by Mr Shawal!
yeah babyyyyyyyyy~
i felt like dying when i accidentally cursed in front of the principal
hahahaha but in the end he approved the proposal
and me and Shari were like, WHOOOHOOO and high-five-ing all the way
and Miss Hong was walking past and was like wth is wrong with you two
hahahahahahaha


so yeah, geek GIG week, people, on the first week of March.
it's an open mic session during upper sec recess.
please support!
guitars and microphones and singing
and minus one tracks and charity involved.
minimum skipping of classes, i swear!
=D


more information soon.
anyway school has been rather bleak.
so thank god for the open mic session i guess.
and i suppose i'll be performing.
i kinda miss the feeling of adrenaline buzzing through my veins.
it's like spasmmmm *rolls on the floor*
it's a pretty feeling, makes me high. =D


the last time i felt that was centuries ago.
)=
what a sad life.
hahahahaha.
eh wait no.
the last time i felt that was at Emily Hills, performing Our Song.
hahahahaha!

i was actually shivering but that was only

because we just ran about 300m in the rain.

and the Emily Hills cafe was air-conditioned and

i had to resort to warming myself using candles,

okay never mind.
gooooood times, gooooooooood times.


and Valentines Day/ International Friendship Day
this year was... sweet.
i didnt prepare gifts for any schoolmates
but i was showered with love and hugs and
truckloads of sweets and candies and chocolates
and a rose and a balloon and a guitar pick necklace and a watch!
my god!
i love everyone!


and im sorry for not preparing anything for anyone.
)=



Ahdila makes me happy.
(see, Ahdila? i said something nice about you)


she was angry about something our malay teacher said
and she shouted, "So unreasonable pig!"
there was a one-second-long pause
in between the 'unreasonable' and 'pig'
so i thought she was going to stop after the word 'unreasonable'

but she added the 'pig'

and the sentence sounded so wrong.
and we were like laughing till our urinary bladders burst!


eh! today i heard the Total Defence sound thing.
it was pathetic.
hahahahaha.
thats what i said to my tutor.
i didnt even notice it was
the Total Defence sound thing in the first place.
i thought it was the usual ruckus that
cars and motorcycles make on the road.
irritating or what.


lately, ive been reading Calvin and Hobbes.
so the addiction has returned.
i love Calvin and Hobbes!
my brother has three of their books! *with pride*
=D
=D
=D

this frigging hypocrisy. it's pulverizing me.
if you think im enjoying this, im not, at all.
period.



i dont even know you anymore
i cant even think of a decent six-word sentence to say to you
that doesnt include the words
"what", "the", "hell", "happened", "to", and "you"
and if you're lucky i might add a delicious cuss.
seven words.
keep the change.


i repeat, i dont even know you anymore.
it used to be you and me against her or she and she against me
or you and her against another her or she and she against me
or she and she against you but it was never,
NEVER, you and her against ME.


it's been eating me alive but im trying not to care.
you're supposed to be my friend
but since the arrival of them,
you're different.


change is good but drastic changes,
especially in this situation,
are not doing YOU any favours.
i repeat, YOU, not ME.
the potential of losing you is high but i can get over it.
it's only a matter of time.
but you?
your attitude, k, it's bringing you nowhere.




im sorry ive always been a brat, a prat
or any -rat words you can possibly think of.


im sorry i cant control the permanent scowling expression on my face
(trust me if i was given a choice
i wouldve picked a face that reveals dimples 24/7
but i was never given a choice,
so get over it.
you, of all people, should know that)


im sorry if i ever talked about you behind your back
(and you'd be a liar if you were to deny ever doing that either)


im sorry i am such a braggart.


im sorry im just so disappointed
in the pathetic reasons you give to be so artificial towards me.
cut the acting.
you can keep talking about me, i dont mind really.
but perhaps think of something
more creative and less superficial lah please?



well at least you're happy.
i won't spoil that.
i'll just stand here, and keep pretending things are okay.
because maybe things ARE okay.
because i need to accept the fact that people come and go.
because i dont see the need to care anymore.






Happy Valentines Day and an advanced International Friendship Day.
like, feel the love, not




*flips hair*


whatever. i'm happy.

All these red cup romances
We're all so fond of the circumstances we've come to
And i know i won't call you in the morning
-Single Serving Friends





firstly, i screwed my math, biology and physics test.
i feel demoralised and defeated but it's not killing me.
not yet.


i mean, wtf!
i couldnt even differentiate
a double ray diagram and a single ray diagram!
i am a disgrace to mankind!
D:


so anyway sitting with Ahdila gets a little out of hand these days.
yesterday she was like a delusional marker-holding barbarian.


picture Ahdila (with a long long long skirt
teehee ahdila's gonna kill me)
holding a pink marker and jabbing me with it
and leaving ugly scrawly lines on my skin
that caused Wan Hui to call me a zebra )=


i was defenceless... lost... helpless... but not yet defeated.
the only thing to do was to hide! =O


i can run, rather fast, but running brings me nowhere
because the school is the size of a pathetic pair of buttocks.
and getting caught outside the classroom
without a filthy permission pass
would only result in me spending
the rest of the day at the so-called reflection centre.


so like i said, the only solution was to hide!


but where?


i couldnt possibly hide in the class cupboard!
Ahdila could open the cupboard door and poke me to death.
and i couldnt possibly hide behind Shaw Siong!
(erk!)
so i hid behind Mifdhal!
=D


and he heroically faced the wrath of Ahdila
and allowed her to scribble "I AM SEXY" on his biceps.
thank God i had Mifdhal.
but did it stop the marker-poking monster? no!



uh, okay this story-telling is getting tiring.
i think i'll skip it.


bottomline is Ahdila is dangerous,
especially in the presence of markers,
but whatever it is, she is my best 2(B)²,
and i cant tell you the meaning of that.


it's pretty simple actually.
we were talking about breasts
and linking those tender pieces of skin to biology.
turgid breasts and flaccid ones,
and crenated ones and even uni ones!
(okay, nothing to do with bio.
uni-breasts are like unibrows, you know, conjoined)




turgid ones are those solid and nice-shaped ones.
and flaccid ones are those saggy ones.
crenated ones are like how cells are when they crenate,
those little spikes and stuff.
and unibreasts, like i said, are conjoined ones.
and according to Ahdila, people with these
are only allowed to wear training bras.
OMG YOU PROBABLY THINK WE'RE FREAKS NOW.
sad.


ohohoho!
we're at the echolocation part of physics now!
hahahaha.
Mrs Ng was talking about sonar which reminded me of my dad lol.
i remember the time Dexter was reading
my dad's name on the nametag on my book
and he was like, "so-nar.. so-no... sonar! sonar! zeng zeng!"
something like that.

and it was quite a revelation
because i never thought my dad's name could ever be cool.
i mean, he actually wanted to change his name to Muhammad Noh.
(i dont know if thats meant personal hahahaha)
i mean, MUHAMMAD NOH, man!
he doesnt look like a Muhammad Noh to me!


thank god he didnt change his name or i'd be Zany Noh or something.


speaking of Zany, now Ahdila, Ahmad Syahir
and Shari are supposed to call me Zana.
it's kind of stupid.


during general meeting yesterday, Ahmad was calling me, "Syaz!"
and i was like, "since when did you call me Syaz?
you've never called me that before."
and he said, "Syazwani! ... Syazanaaaaaa!"
and then blahblahblah idk what suddenly
Ahdila told them to start calling me Zana so yeah.
i cant keep up with my 537436145 nicknames, seriously.


anyway Choo Jin Yang is officially Choo Willy Wonka now.
everyday, i tell him everday that he reminds me of Willy Wonka
(the one in the book, not the Johnny Depp version)
you know the characters drawn in Roald Dahl's book
(illustrated by Quentin Blake)
always have their legs not normally placed flat on the ground.
idk uh, seems like it!
and it reminds me of Jin Yang!




yay Jin Yang!
speaking of Jin Yang, the other day
he threw one of his graph papers without recycling it *gasps*
and when i gave him a shocked look
(no im not obsessed with recycling,
i just wanted to annoy him)
he declared,
"What?? All the trees in the world exist for me!"
with the silly Willy Wonka-esque actions.
ah, silly Willy!


Ahdila was weird today.
well, what's new?
she sang,
"And i say, Zany will you follow me into the room to have some fun"
and she forced me to picture Zul singing that.
aiyoyoyoyoyoyo.


and the other day, i was sweating like fug like that
and then i turned to Jam and asked her,
"Darling, would you still love me if i sweat?"
i dont know what happened after that
but i think she said yes
and then we had an argument about whether sweating
is part of homeostasis or excretion
when it so obviously is part of both.



aiyah.
hahahahaha.
and Jam actually scolded the stalker guy,
three cheers for Jam!
=D


and btw it's official,
the list of trumpeters going for SYF.
i feel pressurized, like all the weight is exerted on me,
which isnt true, of course.

i worry for the section. cause like,
arent trumpeters supposed to be the voice of the band?


i really need to practise hard like hard like superrr harrrrd
because i'll be playing 1st trumpet with Jam
and i cant afford to commit a single mistake.
Mr Chia actually praised us the other day
when we sounded like the equivalent of bird poo.
*cries*


actually i shouldnt be online.
i've completed ALLLLLL my homework
(except Chemistry, because hope is lost)
but i've a POA test tomorrow
and im so not ready.


okay i'd better go mug and sleep and mug and sleep

cause every day is the same mug and sleep and mug and sleep.
i was almost late to school today.
)=


i panicked and Zul was like,
"Run, baby ruuuun, don't ever look back"
which made me panic even more
but i wasnt even CLOSE to being late, lol.
Mr Yeo said the school started
two minutes later than usual today,
thank God.


the other day during the temperature taking exercise,
my temperature was like 37.5 degrees celcius
and i got sent down to the hall
but when i took my temperature there it was 36.9 degrees celcius
and Mr Yeo accused of me of taking my thermometer out
when there was no beeping sound )=
im not sickkkkkkkk, not anymore yay
people say i have a weak immune system
after i almost died during morning assembly yesterday
(ok, exaggerated)


dad said i might be lacking of irons or glucose or what
but isnt like, the liver supposed to help
in the shortage of glucose or something?
uhhh i dont know lah )=
im so screwed, seriously.


note to self, drink more water and eat vegetables.
i probably should paste a sticky note on my forehead.



*sobs*


okay bye!


ps. i want perfect eyesight.
and, I MISS MY CYBER ADIK!!!

as requested by our loyal fans, chey.
(pause the player at the top-right hand corner first k!)





Zul:
We were sitting on that wooden bench at 6.28pm
We were waiting for the sun to set,
I held you tight so close to me
(liar, liar, he didnt hold me close to him, lol)


My heart starts to leap
Not a second did it stop saying out your name
I wonder will I feel the same if you leave


And I say
Zany, will you follow me into this new phase of our lives?
It doesn't matter how things are
As all I need is you here by my side
I wish you could call me day and night
Just for me to say it right
That I love you
From every single angle of my little heart
I love you


Zany:
We were playing in the rain that day,
We didn't care what people say
And my heart starts to wonder,
Could this truly be it?
And I looked into your eyes (chey chey!)
And my heart skipped a beat
And I knew
All I want is you, Zul


Follow me into this new phase of our lives
Doesn't matter how things are
As all I need is you here by my side
I wish you could call me day and night
Just for me to say it right
That I love you
From every single angle of my little heart


I *coughs* love *coughs* youuuuu




Written by Zulfikar Samat and Jacob Morais and Zany.
chords are unbelievably simple to figure out.
hahahahaha.
soon to be re-recorded because yes,
the yay at the end is completely redundant.

=D




good night lovelies

hello, after fifteen solid minutes,
i finally swallowed all my pills.
hardcore procrastination, i suppose.
hahaha!


im scared of swallowing pills.
in fact, i shiver at the sight of pills.
chey no lah
i dont have a phobia of swallowing pills
but i tend to imagine the worst that could happen.
i mean, whats the worst that could happen??!
i'll probably choke. and die! =D
i bet some hopeless souls have choked on panadol before.


everytime i swallow small pills with plain water,
i fail.
i cant even swallow small pills,
let alone those huge, monumental ones!


so i tried with cold plain water.
and it made all the difference in the world!
(Y)


but then, i tried with cold milo
and it was a complete revelation!
swallowing pills has never been so easy! =O


in conclusion,
now im going to swallow all my future pulls with cold milo.
so there you go, moral of the story.


i hate flu medicine,
the ones that make you drowsy,
like hardcore drowsy, but wont let you sleep,
that kind one lahhh aiyah never mind lah i want to sleep.




yay i like to talk about medicine!
because i havent gotten medicine prescribed to me in years!
=D




ps. i miss Mdm Pamela.
i think my Literature has gotten worse. )=
and strange as it seems, i miss my class,
after i heard from Ahdila what happened today.
hahahahaha, laughed like knnccb


"weeeeee,
the 4C (repeat 36x)
P - R - I -D - E,
PRIDE!"





class identity or what?
hahaha!

i paid a visit to the doctor today.
i havent seen a doctor in years!
=O


anyway. he said i have fever.
FEVERRRRRRR!
really, i havent had fever in years!
i mean, like an OFFICIAL fever ah. hahaha
and i have an official MC! yayyyyyy~
i havent had an MC in years!


ok friendster is being mean to me.
it's not loading and
i'm supposed to find pictures of Hani and Dexter
to wish them happy birthday in here.
pathetic lah!


in any case, (this was supposed to be posted last night
but i was dying and i slept at eight, lol)
happy 16th birthday dearest
dexter and hani the twinnies!
hahahaha!


no, i am not happy that i get to miss school, no, no, no
because im missing the bio test (the one that i actually studied for)
and chemistry practical test (this means i'll be lost
when i take the test because
i'll be alone and Wan Hui wont be around
to whisper the steps to me ahhhh)
and i ruinned today's plans with Ahdila!
(ruinned got one n or two n ah?)


anyway, Ahdila and i planned a merry day ahead,
which includes shopping for birthday presents,
collecting film, and a walk at the pasar malam!
i am angry and i am sorry Ahdila )=




last night, the moment my temperature shot up i phoned Shari
and told him i was sick so i wouldnt need to read the announcements
during assembly this morning so he shouldnt pospone his pledge-reading
to this morning because.. aiyah it's hard to explain.
hahaha


and then he accused me of lying and acting sick
so that i wouldnt have to read announcements tomorrow
and he said i wasnt sick because i was laughing.
ahhh, dengar dengar orang sakit tak boleh ketawa. hahaha



Amir taught me a handshake during recess duty yesterday!
yay!
nobody ever teaches me handshakes! )=
loser, right?!
hahahaha
actually Ahmad taught me once before
but everytime i want to do it with him, he declines.
]=






(i showed it to Hafiz and he didnt get it,
cause he doesnt have long hair)
this video always, always makes me feel good,
because happiness is only a hairflip away!
*flips hair* ^^


i like Daphne Khoo, shes is the bomb... a whiny bomb.
but a bomb nevertheless.




okay medicine is kicking in.
im getting drowsy.
i need to sleep, but i have truckloads of homework
and tests to study for.
i am sad.
]=


*flips hair*


okay im happy again
toodles




ps. great news! bio test postponed!

Plastic feelings and upside-down brains
Worn-out limbs and exploding veins






i've studied Physics!
yay!
i dont know why im yay-ing,
it's not like im going to pass anyway!
hahahaha but im satisfied, at least i have some knowledge!
=D


today i fooled around with Zwan's macbook,
i wanted to use Garage Band
because i've written two songs
and i wanted to hear if it sounds good when recorded.
BUT THERE WAS NO GARAGE BAND.
there was logic idk what uh
and i had no idea how to use it!
irritating ahhhhhh!
i spent, like, the whole day at school
getting excited about my date with his macbook!!


eh alamak im seriously worrying for my malay and chemistry.
chemistry is like a cloud of mist to me, chey
cause i seriously dont get anything.
everything is so vague,
but at least i know that an atom isnt a bomb
*winks at ZUL* hahahaha


and malay isnt any easier!
gosh. i feel pathetic.
what am i supposed to do? read books??
but i dont even understand like 82.56% of the words
in any malay book you hurl to my face!
HELPPPPPPPP
maybe i should blog in malay from now on!


NOOO, i'd sooner play in traffic.
or sniff glue.
or jump into a pool of sharks.
or wrestle a crocodile.
because if Captain Hook can do it, so can i.
-___-





and im worrying about that bullshit English composition i wrote.
the topic was Celebrity, narrative/expository
and naturally i chose to write narrative.
who the hell writes expository?!
ok never mind!


i wrote whatever pathetic story i had in my mind
and im crossing my fingers
i'll score well for grammar and vocabulary.


i dont get the school now, i swear i dont.
the teachers are waaaay too uptight
when it comes to rules that hardly matter.
MIGHT elaborate on this another time.
i dont want the school staff to hunt me down
and send me to 6 hours at the so-called reflection centre
(which isnt as majestic as it sounds, lol).



and seriously, the people who are thinking of demanding
for a change of Literature teacher are testing my patience.
at least have the decency to ask the opinions of people
from the other classes whom you're sharing the class with.
psh, are you even aware that you're sharing Lit class with other classes??!


and yeah, at least put in the effort to finish reading the book
before accusing her of being a bad teacher.


it's LITERATURE, for God's sake.
you're supposed to READ, so stop frigging complaining.




okay so whats new?
currently my eyebags are conquering my eyes.
i feel like cutting them off.
but i look strange with and without eyebags.
sad. ]=


my eyebags are getting hard, i noticed.
theyre not soft and squishy like before!
=O
maybe i should go for liposuction and suck out my eyebags,
if thats even possible.
no, no, i think i'd rather cut them off
and keep them in a small transparent container.
then i can squeeze them everyday! -__-




eh hahaha btw,
the other day i dreamt that my POPART watch started functioning again!
with brighter light! =D wawaweeeeeeee~


i told my tutor about my dream and as usual she told me i was weird. ]=
and then she said people usually dream of things they ponder about
or things they really really want.


i know i dont think about my watch (why would i do that?)
so does that mean i really want my watch to start functioning again?



okay fine, i do!
=D


hahahaha!


yay, Across The Universe tomorrow,
hey ho lets go~





that is the cap i wear when i feel like feeling like a celebrity (=
oh shut up, i am allowed to dream, k.
hahahaha





(trust me there are still truckloads of pictures,
but i'll save them for other entriesssss!)



ta now!


ps. Santa granted my wish a little too late.
oh well, better late than never!
;D
GBF FRVR -___- hahahahaha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY(S)!
HAZIQ IS 16!
YAY FOR TBFF*!
TIAC WOO IS 20!
YAY TIAC WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!




senyum-senyum selalu!
(smile always! -___- )






*tbff: temporary best friend forever