The wind is low, the birds will sing
That you are part of everything







i've made up my mind - i'm not replying tags.
what for?
there are 121 tags awaiting me in my tagboard since 2nd April
and i predict i'll be old and penniless and dying
by the time ive replied 25% of them.


so yeah, so sorry.
to those of you who tagged saying you love me,
your words have touched my soul so deeply it hurts.
(hahaha wtf)
i love you too!


okay you know what.
im sick of 15-16 year olds speaking like pre-pubescent adolescents.
you know who im talking about.
you should know who.


ive been very bitter and brusque these days
and i dont really know why.
everything seems to crawl under my skin.
i find myself muttering "fuckwit" under my breath every thirty seconds,
at practically every single person
because every little thing any body says ticks me off.


i probably need to see a psychiatrist.
im going crazy, IM the fuckwit.


maybe i should just think happy thoughts.
that works sometimes.
hmmm happy thoughts please.
happy thoughts? no? happy thoughts?
.... no happy thoughts?!?!


ah yes. retail therapy with Audrey this Friday.
now THATS something to look forward to.


i'll enjoy the last day of my fifteen-year-old life on Friday
and move on to being a sixteen-year-old the next day
and honestly speaking, i doubt i'll feel any different.
it's not like i'll be wiser overnight.
its not like there'll be an enlightenment or something.


you know, ive always secretly wished
some wizard-shaped cloud (!) would appear on my doorstep
and tell me that i posess magic powers.
that i own a strawberry field in some secret garden nobody has ever heard of.
that i am really actually the first Lost Girl, not Jane.
that i was meant to be enrolled in Hogwarts three years ago but they overlooked my name.
that i am the true owner of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
that i am a fairy... an oversized one.
that i've won a lifetime of tickets to all the Disneyland(s) in the world.
that i dont belong here;
that i belong anywhere but here.


in any case, i doubt any wizards or witches
or pixies or Hagrid will turn up on my doorstep.


still, please remember that i'll be turning sixteen on Saturday, the 18th.
i dont expect anything, not even a wish.
i just hope you'll remember, just that thought.
it'll make me happy. (=
thank you.


i am exploding with satisfaction.
want to know why?
ive done my homework. but not all.
there are bits here and there that left me blank
but ive attempted and completed at least half of everything!
these sadistic teachers dumped a truckload of work on us
thinking "oooooh it's Good Friday, a day off, so lets torture these kids a little"
and the thing about teachers these days is
they DONT collect homework.
that pisses me off, big time.
i still have a whole load of uncollected homework
in the Tinkerbell folder Audrey got me for Christmas.


oh yes, i spent approximately four hours with Madi at mac at street 11,
mugging with bits of conversation in between
and eyeing a cute guy sitting a few metres away (in Madi's case).
hahahaha.
Madi, Madi. *shakes head*


Zakir joined us later on and we walked walked in the celestial night.
it was cold and i like cold.
i like rain. i like anything that can make me shiver in excitement.
i like rain. but i dont like getting wet.
i dont like wearing slippers and walking in puddles
because i've heard of things like hookworms.
but i like rain.


mom says bacteria in puddles make our feet itch.
and the skin'll sort of peel off and stuff.
i've seen that on my uncle.
i love my feet including my biggg toes
and i dont want anything so perfectly revolting to happen to them.
gosh i never knew puddles could be so catastrophic.


i need a visit to the library.
i need new books, my creativity in writing is draining.
my creativity in everything is draining, come to think of it.
i have no creativity to speak of
and my inspiration has run dry.
ah look, there goes me and my exploding modesty.
this is so not me.


i am meant to be a brat.
a humble, altruistic brat but a brat nevertheless.
we'll talk about that some other time.


anyone remembers neoprints?
are they like, extinct or something?
i havent heard anyone say the word 'neoprint' in centuries.
i remember there was this neoprint booth that played techno songs
and Asyiqin and i used to love going there to dance.
just dance.
we dont take pictures or insert coins, we just dance.
we must've looked like complete idiots back then
but what did it matter?
we were young and free. chey.


eh rady and me got secret plans ah.
confirm power one like ctrl+z \m/
hahaha omg i love my BGF FRVR lah sey
-____-


holy cowpers!
it's 11.38pm and i havent showered!
i decided to wash my pink converse sneakers this morning.
i voluntarily did tons of beneficial things this morning.
i cleaned out my wardrobe,
threw old and grungy knickers and bras and socks,
refolded tees and arranged all my bags nicely etc.


i dont like being told to do things.
things like cleaning and washing shoes and mugging and... bathing (!)
if i want to do it i'll do it and most of the time i do it
but the strange thing about me is i tend to do things secretly.


i dont like it when my parents bug me to do these things.
it sucks the fun and thrill out of everything.
it feels more like an obligation; something i do because i was forced to.







ah okay i am fully aware
this is the most monotonous entry in lionlionwiselion.
and for that, i shall stop talking.