the reason why im blogging this is because
i dont want to to say it to you in person
because i cant stand your FAIL eye-rolling or snorts or wisecracks.

if you're not satisfied with what i can give you,
fucking kick me out of the band already, will you?
its better than saying things that bring me down,
in case you havent noticed,
i AM already aware that there are hundreds of vocalists out there
who are totally out of my league.
you do NOT have to text me things like
"Zany, you got owned again. We're at some party and this girl sang."
and all the other shit that you do.

its bad enough you sucked all my passion out of song-writing.
you make it seem like an obligation,
like im writing songs for YOU because you keep pestering me for them.
i write songs for self-expression, not for YOU,
not for any of our bandmates either.
when i feel like it, i do it.
have i ever pestered you to compose songs? not at all.
would you like to know how it feels like?
you wont like it. at all.

and thanks so much for always reminding me that
your dad insists that i am not suitable for our genre.
and that you actually AGREE with him.
dude, we're not a fucking metal band.
or hardcore or jazz or gospel or punk.
we are powerpop.
fucking powerpop!
our band consists of musicians from differing genres,
and dude, powerpop/poprock/acoustic = MY genre.

its official, i dont even think i like you as a person anymore.
if you think you are who im referring to,
do me a favour, stay out of my way for the next couple of weeks.

im on the fence about leaving Scotch Tape Mayhem.
dont say i take the band as a joke,
im not the one whos fucking MIA, k.
this isnt fun anymore.
go and form a new band with her for all i care.
thats what you wanted to do wasnt it?

i still love the other bandmates with all my heart and soul.
really, you're the only reason why being in this band feels like shit.