i sing, i write. therefore, i am.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010 @ about 11:16 PM
come what may
"It's all for moments like this"
today i was a good girl!!!!
i stayed home and cleaned the house
when i already made plans to go out,
so that i'd be able to have dinner with my mommmyyyyyy!!!
i felt guilty for going out at night almost every night
and leaving her alone at home haha.
so yeah we tried the new ayam penyet place at Westmall.
Spice Corner or something like that.
i thought it wasnt so bad but mom was totally exaggerating
and saying it was terrible just cause
she didnt like the lady behind the counter very much.
the sauce wasnt spicy at all!!!!!!!
no kick!
im sticking to Ria!
the other day i found my old Nintendo Game Boy Pocket!!!
(anyone noticed how sexist the name is?!)
it looks like this!!!
okay not really that's just a Game Boy. mine's a Game Boy POCKET.
(idk what the difference is, but there definitely are differences.)
and see the blue cartridge behind it?
that's Pokemon Blue!
thats probably the only game i ever played on my Game Boy HAHAHAHAHA!!!
today i tried it out and oh golly miss molly it still works like a charm!
the screen's a little retarded but i still have all my old data!
i named my Pokemon character Neesha! (wtf right?)
i went cycling around whatever city i was in today.
(i meant, in the Pokemon Blue game lol)
i forgot almost everything about Pokemon Blue.
i think i'll start playing again.
but i wont ever erase my saved data,
i worked hard to get to the whatever league it's called to beat Gary the douchebag!
so anyway Syafizzle Yournipple and i
were doing some catching up about an hour ago
and this was a part of the conversation:
Syafiq: Anyway, still singing?
Zany: Singing, hmm not really. Dont really enjoy it as much as i used to.
Syafiq: ): wasted talent. I honestly feel i've improved in my singing. Maybe one day I shall make a cover and let you listen. After all, you were the spark that made me Damn Damn passionate about singing. =x
Zany: Hahaha you make me LOL. I should blog that then say YOU're the reason why i started singing again hahahahaha so lame!
so there, i blogged it.
and i guess i'll have to start singing as much as i used to.
honestly though, im not feeling it.
maybe cause Scotch Tape Mayhem died again.
or maybe because
more female singers + females playing musical instruments = minor signs of the world ending
but the world WILL have end eventually right?
at this point there really isnt much we can do about it.
the world is changing, in ways that totally reflect the the minor signs.
but change is constant. and change is natural, and inevitable.
im not giving an excuse for humans to behave like how they're behaving
but seriously change IS inevitable!
but sigh idk what to think anymore
but ive honestly always wanted to live til at least forty. hahaha.
i dont know if i'll live to see the day i turn forty
but for now i say we live each day
like it's the last day we will ever see. (=
i mean, what other choice do we have?
oh by the way i found this on some Tumblr sites!
Our psychological state allows us to see
only what we want/need/feel to see at a particular time.
What five words do you see?
1. love
2. lust
3. dream
4. past
5. secret
… and read.
which is what i should do right now.
Wonderland is waiting for me. ('=
"In another moment down went Alice after it,
never once considering how in the world she was to get out again."
i am inclined to think that this is the very quote
that makes me feel so attached to Alice In Wonderland.
it just reflects my whole life.
it is so like me to throw myself headfirst into situations
without properly thinking things through.
i cant really recall any time in my life where i planned ahead.
this is not something im proud of,
but it's something i've lived with and grown used to.
it's left me stranded in ... baffling circumstances,
but it doesnt matter, because honestly,
nothing really matters .
and yknow what,
im kind of talking about my future.
a couple of days ago it struck me
that ive never really planned my future.
it worried me a little, because this is a really serious matter.
but 'plan'? i dont know.
if i had planned my future,
i wouldve hurled myself into a Business course.
or an Accountancy course, or even Engineering.
but i didnt plan it. and so chose Writing,
which isnt appreciated by many, especially in this country,
but that's what i do best and that's what i enjoy most.
it was a risk, knowing what i do best isn't half as good as what others can do.
but such is life, no?
im not sure exactly what i'll be doing in the future that involves writing.
the job-scope and wage is pathetic as compared to that of the other courses,
but really, what does it matter?
the future's misty but i know i'll be okay.
i just know it.
take chances, take risks.
that's what i always do without fail and i'll keep doing that
even if the future is scaring me shitless.
"come what may", ya know?
ps. a friend once said to me in the bus "Zany, yknow, i like the fact that your dream future is so simple." i asked him to elaborate and he said it's cause i dont want a car, i dont want a big house or be a millionaire or a billionaire, i just want to be happy in an okay-sized house and have an okay-paying job and as long as i can feed myself (and my family) then im content. it was really surprising (and nice) to hear him say that but i never saw my future as 'simple'. it just appears 'simple' to other people because they want and expect so much in life. (so much that they dont even NEED.) there's nothing wrong with dreaming big, but i suppose the day you forget that the things that matter most are the littlest things is the day you're screwed. Cliché huh? but so darn true.
