What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Every single day I ask myself the same question: What the fuck am I doing with my life?
"Deus Ex Machina"; god out of the machine, this is the part where you come into my life out of the blue and blow my mind with an epiphany, so i can close this aimless chapter of my life and open a fresh one. it'll be revolutionary.
in any case, Saturday was not very pretty. 1:30am to 2:30am was awfully terrifying. but the night was pleasant, because it felt good to be by the river in the cold cold night in my cardigan and favourite tshirt and feather and boots. it was hazy but whatever, there's no point in complaining about something i can't do anything about. so i sat by the river and let my mind wander.
i was thinking of going out alone tomorrow to explore places... but it suddenly hit me that i havent been watching TV this week, and my homework is to watch TV. d a m n a t i o n i better learn lots of things this semester. i feel like i haven't been learning much at all. this is probably due to the fact that i don't actually pay attention in class. but how can i pay attention when i've got an attention span of a cloud?! )= um... anyway. at least i learnt about Deus Ex Machina in Stella's class. interesting stuff.
Friday, October 22, 2010 @ about 11:41 PM
(=
Your dream IS your destiny, silly. Don't you dare think otherwise.
Thursday, October 21, 2010 @ about 2:25 PM
the worst blog entry in the world
today has been rather interesting. i fell asleep at around twelve in the am, and got up because my my phone rang. a text from Aqil! it took me alot of energy and willpower to drag my fingers across the my phone's qwerty to reply his text. and when i was finally done, he had already fallen asleep. so i lay in bed for another hour until i could finally fall asleep again.
my phone's alarm rang at six am. it's nice to start your day with Let's Just Fall In Love Again by Jason Castro. i hit snooze. it rang again at six thirty so ok fine i'll get up okay?! annoying shit. okay so i got up, and showered.
i didn't know what to wear, which is typical, but my acid-washed skirt never goes wrong. so yeah, i threw that on, along with my white shirt with pink polka dots. but nawwww, i wasnt really in a polka dot mood. so i just put on one of my To Write Love On Her Arms tshirt... the green one.
okay bag packed, feathers in place, kissed mom and dad goodbye, and laced up my black high cut chucks. seven am. time to head to school.
oh no wait. a medium-sized Double Chocolate Frappe is essential to start my day right. but my day had already started, no? ... wait, what's my point? anyway, yay Double Chocolate Frappe for me.
the queue for the bus at the interchange was fairly short. the apek in front of me nodded at me when i joined the queue, for some reason. and the indian man behind me was standing faaar too close to me. ("far too close". hahaha it's like some kinda paradox. is that what they call these things? paradox?)
yay the bus arrived, time to get away from the man who was standing too close to me. boarded the bus, tapped the good ol' ezlink card (it's called CEPAS now, right?) and got my favourite seat, third from the back, extreme left, by the window. a lady with a face-mask sat beside me. i thought it must be some some kind of compliment because she was wearing a face-mask = she is sensitive about the haze (i assume) so perhaps she is health and hygiene conscious. the fact that she chose to sit next to me kinda shows that i look clean! =D
... moving on. the bus moved and soon the lady with the face-mask alighted. bye lady. what a pleasant day... until a nyonya sat next to me. no, i have nothing against nyonyas. some of them are very sweet people. but holy cheese, this nyonya whipped a nail-trimmer out from her bag and started cut-cut-cutting her putrid nails. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thank God none of her nails got into my frappe... or did they?!?!?!?!? OH THE FUCKING HORROR
but no, it's okay. nothing can bring me down. so i sat quietly getting eargasms listening to West Grand Boulevard, Daphne Khoo style. ~AND IIIIIIIIII, MISS YOU THE MOST~
my phone rang! a text from Adrian. he didn't know where our class is. i didn't know either, so i asked Deshun. =D Deshun is very reliable. this is why i like Deshun... apart from the fact that he likes my hair, but we'll get to that later.
so i got to class five minutes late, and peeked through the window before opening the door. and oh whats this! a new lecturer! i opened the door and heard someone say "WRONG CLASS!" and i thought, "damn it Deshun isnt so reliable after all", then i realized that voice came from Adrian. he is such an Annoyance. (notice how i chose a noun that starts with A to describe Adrian. heh, heh, heh. -__-)
anyway the lecturer (odd, i can't seem to remember her name. but i am certain it starts with an S.) started taling about scriptwriting for TV, and then she made us go on Youtube and watch any video we want to watch. yes, i know, my course is awesome like that.
i don't remember what happened next but im pretty sure she let us go for a break. i got myself a chopped-up green apple, Felicia got herself a papaya, and Janna got herself some guava... i think.
i said to Deshun "Deshun! i didn't tie my hair today cause you told me not to because you said you like my 'voluminous' hair." Deshun said "yes!" (at least that's what i think he said.) i think i started whining about how he doesn't like my ponytail. and i don't remember anything else in that conversation.
we started walking out of the food court and just when i thought our conversation about hair was over, Deshun said, "Janna's hair is so normal." Deshun is so nice, he doesn't backstab anyone, but instead he says what he thinks about them in their presence. what a sweet boy.
apparently Janna disagrees. she started behaving shocked that someone doesn't like her hair, while i laughed and almost choked on my apple. Deshun elaborated his statement by saying "Zany's hair is Zany. Felicia's hair is Felicia. Janna's hair is just normal" which obviously doesn't justify anything.
suddenly we were back in our classroom and i don't remember paying attention to anything lecturer S was saying because Adrian and i were trying to create Tumblr accounts. Adrian and i want Tumblr accounts!!! i want to make it a very personal one. i shan't tell anyone what my Tumblr is... how can i when i don't even have one? the screen says ACCESS DENIED whenever i tried to create an account. and there it says "See 30 reasons why you'll love Tumblr →" pfffft.
i spent most of my time looking at pictures of homes (particularly rooms). ladies and gentlemen, this is what my future home will look like:
and this is what my room will look like:
well of course this is all wishful thinking. this next part is probably not very appropriate but whatever.
i saw this and said to Adrian "i can imagine having sex there." *points to bed* and Adrian replied "i can imagine having sex there!" *points to staircase* um... ouch?
some time passed and before we knew it we were banished from the classroom because lecturer S wanted us to do some brainstorming outside. we were supposed to create a gameshow. this is not as easy as it sounds because alot of gameshows touching on different areas and interests have been created already.
this part is very boring but i remember sitting at Hilltop Haven and hearing a girl on the radio singing a nice song and assuming it was Justin Bieber because every time i think a girl sings something, it's turns out to be Justin Bieber. EVERY. TIME.
i will skip the gameshow part because my group's idea is very sad and pathetic but we just couldn't be bothered to think of a fantastic idea since we weren't going to be graded anyway.
school's out and i made my way to the toilet to shee shee. i don't remember anything else that happened except Elsa telling me that i am very skinny and i have grown taller. thank you, Elsa.
the bus ride home was peaceful and cold, and i can't seem to get myself to listen to anything but West Grand Boulevard. this is not good because Paramore aka my most favourite band in the world is getting neglected. oh sigh. i walked home in the haze and decided that i actually kinda like hazy days. =D this has a hell lot to do with the fact that i do not like sunlight very much.
i got home and oooh mom and dad were home. my stomach was whining (no, seriously, it was whining) but mom and dad ate all the fried rice. mom was super guilty so she hugged me and kissed me and said she'll cook special fried rice for me one day while dad just grunted and said i can find my own food. yes i can! so i made myself some of Adabi's amazing instant Mee Bandung and now here i am blogging.
i am so fucking bored.
ps. the picture at the start of this post is an animated GIF of a picture from screamcolors.tumblr.com and a picture + that picture laid over it. i'm not sure if screamcolors made the picture or if it was taken by someone else ... i don't really understand Tumblr.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010 @ about 6:41 PM
haze and hair
this is ridiculous! it's only been two days of school and i'm exhausted, beyond words!! i can't even begin to describe how tired i am! now i get why the school's giving my class off-days on Wednesdays! at this rate im going i can't even handle a job!
the moment i got home on Monday and Tuesday i ate, bathed, prayed and instantly K-O'd. INSTANTLY. i can't keep doing this every week!!! gotta be stronger now, yes yes!!!
oh and you wanna know what else is ridiculous?! THE HAZE!!! yes i appreciate the fact that it's shielding us from the UV rays, but the air looks so dirty that i'd rather spend $985834752989 on sunblock every year and get my ball of plasma back. (i dont know why i said that when i dont even wear sunblock)
i cut my hair on Sunday. ( i think. or was that Saturday?) i think i did a terrible job cutting it but im trying to convince myself that it's okay and that i like unevenly-cut hair.
oh gosh i gotta stop talking about my hair haha i've ben talking about hair in the previous entries. WELL I CANT HELP IT MY HAIR'S A MESS yknow i was thinking of cutting it like shoulder-length but then i'd lose my ponytail. my ponytail means a lot to me.
okay wait back to the haze. now i have to share my house with lots of insects with wings because they need a place to stay! i didn't kill any of them... and if i did it was only cause pffft. if it isn't enough that they can fly and i cant. *rolls eyes*
yesterday i ate rice with two spoons because i am such a doofus. and the day before i walked a super long distance and then found out that my bag was unzipped. LOSER LAH PLEASE, why didn't anyone on the street tell me my bag was unzipped!?! SHEESH.
oh and i fell asleep wearing my contact lenses because i was so damn tired. im such a weakling but i think it has to do with the fact that i haven't been eating right.
before i keep complaining i'd better click 'Publish Post', urgh stfu zany you whiny git.
ps. i love Felicia because she folded paper cranes for me in the bus and always visits my blog. i love Adrian because he winked at me during Fred's lesson and later on denied it and blamed the dust. i love Janna because everybody likes her including... lol sorry i shouldn't joke about this IM SORRY JANNA. i love Elsa because she came back to save me when i got stuck in the toilet at Borders. i love Deshun cause... well, he's Deshun. and i'd like to continue and talk about all my classmates but it's prayers time woot woot
@ about 6:13 PM
meh.
been wanting to do that for quite a while... didn't turn out very well. oh well. *shrugs* (that's a GIF by the way. if isn't moving that's probably cause it hasn't loaded.)
sigh. headbanging was a lot more fun when my hair wasn't this dry. 'Total Repair shampoo' my Aunt Fanny. it made my hair feel more sandpaper-y than ever, thanks.
... i dont know why im blaming shampoo for my dry hair. it's probably my fault for dyeing it 254543696 times.
meh.
Sunday, October 17, 2010 @ about 3:40 PM
a very meh afternoon
if only you could see life through my eyes... you'd be captivated.
on a despairing note, i wish to redeem my old eternally and annoyingly positive self, please. i am on a mission, because this lifeless flimsy me is boring. i find myself despising me more and more each day.
... oh, and i would like my hair to look like how it does in the above picture. that was some two weeks ago. my hair is ridiculous now. they say hair is made up of dead cells, but i insist mine is alive. it definitely has a mind of its own... and it just tries to kill me every morning.
i am not complaining.
Saturday, October 16, 2010 @ about 11:42 PM
gummi bears
OH MAI GIATTTTT MY LIFE IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT THIS!!!!!!
*salivates*
LOOK AT IT, JUST LOOK AT IT! it's shiiiiiiinyyyyyyyy *_*
Friday, October 15, 2010 @ about 9:47 PM
i don't live to please you
"We're out to get what we desire But they think it's so bizarre, and it is adding to the fire, We're finding out a better way, and learning more than we were told of before, Don't believe in what they're saying.
I'll take my life where I'm supposed to"
*****************************************
States read my mind. do i conform or stand my ground?
it's a battle between my mind and my heart. and i don't have to tell you which is winning. the answer's too obvious, because i am a stubborn, stubborn girl, and i refuse to listen to these premonitions. what's the use of worrying anyway? worries are just imaginary problems. i'd rather take chances.
Hush, don't speak a word about the dreams that I live for. I'll take my life where I'm supposed to.
Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ about 11:42 PM
live by the sun
"Live by the sun, Love by the moon"
time check: 5.42 pm and i'm at Cat Socrates with Aqil and Naqiyah chewing on these mouth-watering Homestyle brownies and listening to good music (aka Chris Garneau) under my 'Daze' playlist. yay life's beautiful.
i think i managed to convince Naqs to join Creative Writing. =D I THINK. hahaha.
so anyway, the day i went out with Aqil and Nadiah and Syabeel was the day i made a vow never to set foot on Cineleisure. ever! (wow i do make a lot of vows)
howeverrrrr, IF i get the the job at the bookstore i might be assigned to Cineleisure's outlet. and before you know it i'll be BFFs with all the mat+minahreps that constantly infest the whole area. i mean, dude, have you been there recently?! it's terrible. )= they're everywhere! i even saw this matrep i used to date a few years ago, what the?! i thought i'd never see him again. D=
did i mention that i've got a new balloon in my room? i used to have a Barney balloon in my room but i threw that one out because i realized i never really liked Barney anyway. (my little cousin sings the Barney theme song as "Barney has a dinosaur, Barney has a nation" dayumnnn Barney's one rich bastard.) i've got a new balloon in my room now! and it's from Madi's 17th birthday party on 3rd October!
d'you see it? it's not the focus of the picture cause when i took this i wasn't intending to blog about the balloon HAHAHA. oh and i've got a new lamp too!!!! look!
it makes my room look really mellow. like Cat Socrates! perfect for playing songs from my 'Daze' playlist! … and yeah im so self-obsessed i have a few pictures of myself hanging on my wall. hahaha nawww like what i mentioned in one of my recent entries i want to take lots of pictures of myself and people around me cause change happens so quickly and silently i don't want to ever forget what we used to be like because that's what shaped us to become who we are now.
and yes bro, im using your mouse, because my magic mouse has failed me. stupid piece of technology.
so anyway. I LIKE THE BALLOON! Hafi bought it from Daiso! it looks like a nebula cum planet, pretty awesome huh?! i killed Sombrero on Madi's birthday. he was the most darling balloon i'd ever seen. but i killed it. )=
oh and on the same day, i was wearing my Paramore tshirt and my little cousin (the one who claims Barney has a nation) went "YOUR TSHIRT ROCKS!!!!" and i was like, ._. was i supposed to say thank you? i mean, i didn't design it! )=
i don't know if that was logical so i went to my brother and told him our little cousin said my tshirt rocks, and i didn't know what to reply. and he was like, "what are you supposed to say? you didn't design it. pffft." and i was like YES EXACTLYYYYYYY!!!!
it's like um, for example a generic person uses a blog layout she took from blogskins.com, and her blog visitors go "I LOVE YOUR BLOGSKIN" "YOUR BLOGSKIN IS NICE!" and she says "thank you" as if she was the one who designed it! it's like, dude, wtffffff?!?!?!?!! you did not contribute in making the blogskin 'nice', for pete's sake.
DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN?
okay anyway it doesn't matter if you don't. ON THE SAME DAY, Hafi was blasting music from her macbook during the party. and my aunt went "Eh! Play the Paramore song lah! Exceptionally You!" unfortunately i was eating a grape at that moment and i choked. )'= but hahaha isn't it funny?! Exceptionally You!!!!!! and my aunt was like "you're so mean, laugh at me! what's the title?!" and i was like "THE ONLY EXCEPTION!!!!" and she went "oh. hahaha, no wonder you laughed at me." HAHAHAHAHAHA i love my relatives.
have you watched Season 2 of Glee? my goodness, episodes 1 to 3 made me cry, especially 3! OMG YOU JUST HAVE TO WATCH GLEE! it's so intense! especially one part when Quinn got her cheer captain spot again so she was strutting down the hall.... okay why not i let you watch the video!
"Walk away, and tighten up your pony before you get to CLASS!!!!" i love Quinn Fabray.
i spotted a flaw though! but it can't be seen here, you need watch the full version of the fight starting from when Quinn zips up her uniform and tightens her ponytail. the ponytail she tightened is lower than her normal ponytail, which is like the ponytail she had on when she was strutting down the corridor. can you see it? i like to tie high ponytails and i LOVE Quinn's ponytail so i can tell her ponytail was lower than usual! so it's like, in the first scene her ponytail's low, and suddenly in the next seen her ponytail's high!!!
y'know i really dont like it when someone accuses someone else of copying them when they don't even have a sense of style in the first place. im saying this because almost everywhere i go on cyberspace someone's like "stop copying me" or "copycat" or y'know variations of that. and im like what the heck there isn't anything to copy about you. EEEEEEK so geram y'know. okay i shut up.
guess what, i've got a new favourite ice-cream! so goodbye to my happy stick, Hip-hop Jelly, and hello to Fruitare!!! (strawberry flavour!)
it's soooo good, seriously. perfect for after my swing sessions! you should try it. =D it tastes like pure strawberry and even has those little black seeds in it! mmmmmhmmmm!
i wanted (WANT, actually) this so badly, it was about eighty bucks and when i first saw it i didn't think it was worth it, until recently i realized that average jeans cost about sixty bucks anyway! BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW. this beautiful piece of fabric is out of stock! it reminds me of the time my dream Vans shoes didn't come in my size, it was such a terrible and dark period of my life. *shudders* i never want to be reminded of it. )'= next time i see something i really really really really like im going to get it!!! … depends on the price, of course.
ah, time check: 7.24pm we're leaving for dinner in a bit! byeee~
@ about 11:41 PM
kenny chesney: you had me from hello
But you had me from hello I felt love start to grow The moment I looked into your eyes you won me It was over from the start you completely stole my heart And now you wont let go I never even had a chance you know You had me from hello
Aqil, i love you. =D (he totally made me blog this, but hey, it's the 14th, so why not?!)
@ about 1:43 PM
pokemon vs digimon
OH BY THE WAYYYYYY! i changed my twitter name! just sayin'. don't follow me if you're the kind who only follows to BE followed. click to go!
it has come to my attention (LOL) that people don't know the difference between the names of Pokemon and Digimon.
this is Pokemon:
see those two Pokemon? that's Meowth and Pikachu.
this is Digimon:
examples are Agumon and Palmon.
everyone seems to think i'm a Pokemon! I AM NOT!!!! I RESENT THAT!!!! i am a Digimon!!! Digimon creatures' names end with -mon!
obviously from the picture sizes, you can tell i like Pokemon more than Digimon! (i think Digimon's very dark hahaha, but i like Sora alot cause she wears a helmet... and Tai is kinda hot. but eh. Ash is hotter. did you know that his voice actor is a female? =/ )
when i was trying to choose pictures of Ash, Brock, and Misty together, too many popped up that didn't include Misty! instead there was this brown-haired girl, who the heck is she?!
anyway i managed to find this!
isn't it funny that Ash and Misty's eyes are huuuuge and Brock's eyes are as usual, lines?! HAHAHAHA I LOVE POKEMON SEASON 1! back then i could name all the Pokemon from season 1! and then season 2 and the consecutive seasons were released and oh maiii giatttt, information overload!
WAHOOO MISTY!!! (notice Ash's facial expression at the back HAHAHA) ... is it me or is Hayley Williams totally a Misty-lookalike?!
another reason to love Hayley!
... dayumn, i logged in to tell ya'll i changed my twitter name and i ended up talking talking too much as usual. ok bye!
OH WAIT! listen to this eargasmic piece of music before you go!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ^_^
Wednesday, October 13, 2010 @ about 10:27 PM
hello 500th entry!
HAPPY 500th POST,
so hey! i was on Hotmail, (a little fact about me: im the kind of person who checks her email inbox every five seconds of her life haha) and i was like, OH HAY! I GOT A NEW EMAIL! so i opened it! it's from Twitter! i've got a new follower!!!!
well that's no big deal, but i didn't know this follower so i clicked on his link under 'Website'! it led me to his tumblr page so i was like oh okay, let's browse. so i looked through his Tumblr while talking on the phone with Aqil, and then something on page 8 caught my eye!
it's so touching when people mention my blog on their sites!!! and okay my finding is pretty much the reason why im so excited to blog right now! so show Naim Rahim some love, ya'll!!! idk how Tumblr works but i think you can start by following him? hahahahaha.
im such a dinosaur. but i refuse to move to Tumblr because i dont want the whole 'followers' thing. i dont want the 'aceness' of my blog to be measured by my number of followers, or the number of people who visit. that's pretty much why you don't see any visitor counters in my blog, or any "3 users online" kinda thing. cause hahaha i cant be bothered to know, cause im pretty happy talking to myself, but that doesn't mean i don't appreciate people who appreciate my writings. IT MEANS A LOT TO ME, i swear!
okay moving on. gosh i've been spending so much lately, on clothes. i solemnly swear i will not buy any more clothes for the rest of my teenage life. okay no wait i cant do this, im still waiting for Dropdead's next collection to see if anything catches my eye! and there'll be end-of-year sales everywhere!!!! urgh this is the pits.
but s'okay i'll earn all the money back! im going to get a job. im going to be pretty free when school starts cause my timetable is so empty it's crazy. i don't even have school on Wednesdays! and it's not like i always go out on weekends.
oh yes! the job interview! it was for a job at the prettiest bookstore in Singapore (i think). there were two parts - verbal and written. the written one was supremely demanding hahaha. it was like 'O' levels all over again. i havent sat for an exam since 'O's ended, you see. my course doesn't make us sit for examinations.
so anyway. the written part of the interview made me list out - 3 of my favourite authors - 3 of my recently-read books - 3 pre-20th century authors - 3 post-20th century authors - 3 American authors/poets - 3 British authors-poets
in addition, i had to match a list of authors to their books. other questions include something like what local book i would recommend to a tourist, what ONE book i would recommend to the whole world if i could, what book i would recommend to a customer who wants a light read on a plane, etcetera.
heavy stuff, huh? hahahahaha. it wasn't that hard, but it was so pressurizing!
i kinda wonder what my life would be like if i had joined SP band! i would still be making music and be part of talented and musically-inclined people. i miss making music, i really do, i cried when i found my old jvcb band file and realize i could still read notes and do the fingerings pretty swiftly, after more than a year of not caring about the trumpet. ah well. once a Peter always a Peter. =D oh damn it i miss jvcb so badly. i will dedicate a whole blog entry to jvcb soon! here's to the best period of my life!
i kinda want to start jogging at night, but that's crazy, me, jog?! i don't even do stretching exercises or stuff like that. i can't skip for a minute without getting my attention diverted! i used to cycle a lot, all the way to Chinese Garden, but the last time i did that was in 2006! it's been four years since that douchebag stole my bike. but eh, it's not like i'll cycle if i still have my bag. i am far too lazy for that. i am so unfit OH MY GOSH I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!
a couple of months ago i vowed to do 100 sit-ups a day and thought it was gonna change my life, but i forgot all about it the next day. DAYUMNNNN.
have i mentioned how much i love public transport? there're so many strange and lovable people to ogle at! NO IM NOT BEING SARCASTIC AT ALL. i do mean it when i said lovable, once i saw this apek (old chinese man) board the train with a bouquet of flowers and smiling to himself, looking all content. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?! i imagine he was bringing it home to his wife like how the men in Enid Blyton books do. i told Ashleigh about the apek and she said, "maybe he was bringing the flowers to his dead wife to put on her coffin." that's quite a depressing thought. )= but it's nice to know he still cares about his dead wife. so i still like the man alot!
okay and the other time the train was crowded and everyone was squeezed together and this little boy wearing school uniform suddenly sat on the floor!!!! RIGHT BESIDE ME! i mean, i was standing, and he was sitting right beside me. and i happened to be wearing a skirt that day!!!! i didn't realize this until i alighted the train though. he banged on me when he was trying to get up. idk how this is lovable but he totally looked like the little boy from the Disney Pixar film Up. i cant even remember his name haha. funny! i watched Up a few hours ago. OH YES RUSSELL!!!
look, that's him! ='D i totally felt like grabbing him by his shoulders and cheeks and insisting that he has inspired the lives of many!!! (wait this whole part sounds familiar, did i tweet it or something?!)
oh yes! and one time in the train this makcik (malay lady) kept staring at me. she had short blonde spiky hair and carrying bag with lots of studs on it. FIERCE MAKCIK! i didnt know why she was staring at me but hey i kinda get glares alot when i go out, ive kinda gotten used to it. so i was like okay, i shall mind my own business. when she was getting off the train, she still kept looking at me and guess what i noticed?! SHE WAS WEARING A PLAIN BLACK HOODIE! WITH SHORTS AND STOCKINGS! JUST LIKE MEEEE!!!! we're hoodie buddies!!! ='D
but yeah it was kinda strange. she looked 35-40 but she was wearing, um, young-people-clothes. but oh well, like i always tell my mom, you're never too young to do anything! =D
i love days when the sun's hiding behind clouds and the temperature's lower than usual, and i'd be wearing just a hoodie and shorts and stockings and my favourite Vans (i've only one pair of Vans, actually.) and my hair would be pulled back in a ponytail with the usual feathers, and i'd be travelling on my own to random places, and get lost, and just watch life. (=
one of the days i did that i got touched by some cheekopek on the bus. i'll tell you what happened! i was sitting and the bus was full, there was a girl sitting beside me. slowly the bus got emptier and emptier and there were empty seats all around and one man standing at the back of the bus, about a metre away from me. the girl who was sitting beside me got off the bus, and the man sat beside me.
i DID wonder why he didn't take the other empty seats but instead waited for the seat beside mine to be vacant. but i brushed it off cause i like assuming that all people have mainly good in them haha. moving on! DAYUMNNN he was sitting super close to me. okay no not really, the thing was he sat with his legs wide open. so his right leg was like resting against my left leg. it was weird, but i had no space to move cause i was sitting at the window seat! i didn't want to say anything cause he seemed a little old and maybe he had leg problems hahaha.
so anyway i tolerated this for about six bustops when finally he rang the doorbell. he was really swift and all, i don't think he thought i noticed, it didn't even occur to me that it happened until he alighted the bus, but when he was getting off his seat, his right hand stroked my thigh very briskly. it was disgusting, obviously, but it only struck me when he was walking down the steps of the bus and yknow what, it's alright. im not totally upset and traumatized and scarred for life, just let it go.
... but the Bed Intruder song was stuck in my mind the rest of the bus ride. i was like "ZANY, YOU ARE SO DUMB, YOU ARE REALLY DUMB, FERREAL. THAT MAN GOT AWAY, LEAVING BEHIND EVIDENCE!!!!" (there wasn't evidence but whatever)
if you dont know what im talking about, you should head over to youtube and search Bed Intruder song and complete your life.
i've been getting these little headaches lately. they come and go... like an ex-lover lol wtf. but seriously!! DAMN YOU HEADACHES! YOU'RE TAKING OVER MY LIIIFE!!!!!!
i dont understand why each time i dye my hair the colour just gets brighter and brighter. hair, i dont recall dyeing you this shade of brown. what the hell happened?! can someone explain to me?
anyway i was thinking of getting a Golden Half. it's just eighty dollars!!!
the downside? it doesn't come with a flash. and i dont knowwwwwwww, maybe i shouldn't spend any more money until i earn some. hahahaha.
ACTUALLY!!!! this is only HALF of all the things i intended to blog about! (trust me, i made a checklist.) but i'm so tired and it's already 3am!!!!!! i should sleep. i'll blog again this week.
have a good day!
Monday, October 11, 2010 @ about 12:16 PM
scared shitless
hi! guess what? i'm back! c:
no big post now, i'll blog one early this week, a huuuge one, cause a bunch of interesting things have been happening lately, and gosh i've got so much to tell you! ='D
btw i have a job interview tomorrow at 2. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A JOB INTERVIEW T_T
i am scared shitless.
@ about 12:08 PM
dashboard confessional: belle of the boulevard
Down in a local bar, out on the boulevard, The sound of an old guitar is saving you from sinking
In all your silver rings, in all your silken things That song you softly sing is keeping you from breaking
It's a long way down, it's a long way...
Back here you never lost, you shake the shivers off You take a drink to get your courage up Can you believe it? Just this once, just for now, and just like that, it's over.
When you fall apart, Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Be nice, or go away.
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(awkward blank space that will be updated soon... i think.)
restless
