i sing, i write. therefore, i am.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010 @ about 10:03 PM
too late
Well isn't it nice how their management is trying so hard to control the damage
and insisting that the statement is fake while Hayley is fast asleep?
Dude. It's glaringly real.
It's so pathetic how people
are trying to convince themselves
that it is fake when Josh's facebook
(that has all his friends on it, and his family + his mom),
and Jenna's blog links to it,
and how people are "waiting for it to be announced on paramore.net".
Why would they announce something as dark as that on paramore.net?
Of course they'll deny it.
LOL seriously, who would you believe?
RockSound, Kerrang, or JOSH'S WIFE?!
-___-
It's too late to deny all of this.
(Unless apparently some mastermind hacked everyone involved)
Anyway I'm feeling kind of upset cause my dad said
I lost my spark, and even my face has lost its "glow".
I never knew my face had a glow but still...
This is the pits.
Mom said she wants to take me out on a shopping spree.
I was looking forward to that but not anymore.
I don't want to go on a shopping spree.
I just want to get this dump of a year over and done with.
Okay, not really.
The end of 2010 = the start of 2011 = back to school.
My distaste towards school is metamorphosing into hate.
Remind me again why I am in a media course
when the media fucks us all in one way or another?
…I'm going to stuff myself with a couple of pills and turn in.
@ about 4:58 PM
"The tragedy, it seems unending,
I'm watching everyone I looked up to breaking, bending,
Taking shortcuts and false solutions
Just to come out the hero."
- Turn It Off by Paramore
Knowing what you believed in for so many years is just a facade just sucks very much.
@ about 4:34 PM
i put my faith in you, so much faith, and then you just threw it away
... Well you still made amazing music. You're one of the very few constants in my life for the past 5+ years and you helped me get through every single shit I faced as a teenager and you're the only band I ever truly loved. So thanks for (what I perceived to be) seven mind-blowing years.
For all you've done, you deserve to be happy.
You shine brighter than anyone. (=
Without Josh I don't really know how they're going to write music.
It really isn't Paramore without the Farros.
And I really want to see if Hayley's going to respond to the exit statement.
If you haven't read it, you should. (CLICK)
It's some heavy stuff.
I didn't think it was real,
but Josh posted the link on his Facebook (click),
and it's on Jenna's blog (click).
(and the reason why it isn't on paramore.net is cause...
why on earth would he post on paramore.net,
a website of the band he doesn't belong to anymore?
duh.)
And just in case you're wondering, no, I do not think Hayley's a total bitch.
If she had wanted to use the Farros to gain fame so that she can leave them and go solo,
she could've gone solo when Atlantic approached her in the first place.
It's obvious from the statement
that she fought all the way for Paramore to stay together.
(And she is still fighting now.)
She lied to keep us happy. )=
Actually, if you think about it,
their music does speak a lot about their whole experience.
The fact that we're living among people who see life in a different light,
and people who you just can't ever see eye to eye with.
... Think I'll go into mild depression for a few days.
Now I get why Oasis said,"Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock and roll band."
My mistake.
Gosh it all makes so much sense now, really.
This is even harder than any break-up I ever went through.
With Paramore, it felt like a five-year relationship... built on a foundation of deceit..
My heart feels heavy and I feel like I've been dreaming all along.
)'=
is all this real?!?!!
is anyone even genuine anymore?!?!?!?!?!?!
this really makes me wonder if facades are so easily ad commonly created
and is anything ever based on truth anymore arghhh
what if this was all a dream and i wake up one day in another universe oh my god im losing my mind
ps. to people saying "they were trash anyway", let's see you go this far in music.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010 @ about 2:59 PM
trololololol
new spectacles!!!!!!!!!
because i think i accidentally threw the other one
down the rubbish chute... trololol. )=
oh hai!
i wanted to blog today but i realized i've got like 54563474353 errands to run!!!
ok no, just three, actually. haha.
this morning dad told me to exercise hahahahahaha
it's kinda funny cause i've never really exercised before in my life!
i mean like, EXERCISE, for the sake of keeping fit or losing weight... ya know?!
but i suppose i could try... um, skipping or something.
so okay i think im gonna eat chicken today
cause i ate chicken yesterday and it was so good.
it seems i'd forgotten how good chicken tastes. D=
OMG I CANT WAIT FOR THIS WASTED YEAR TO BE OVER,
THEN I CAN JOIN SINGAPORE POLY'S BAND NEXT YEAR!!!
OK BAIIIIIIII
Saturday, December 04, 2010 @ about 12:24 AM
dammit
“It’ll happen once again, I’ll turn to a friend
Someone that understands, sees through the master plan
But everybody’s gone, and I’ve been here for too long to face this on my own
Well I guess this is growing up.”
the picture above is a GIF that makes me look like i have a serious case of epilepsy.
actually, i dont even know what epileptic people look like when they have seizures.
im just assuming...
okay the GIF gets scary after a while.
oh, i am seriously confuzzled!
(im not very sure what that means, i think it's confused + puzzled)
sometimes the pictures on my blog can be seen and sometimes they can't!
it's seriously the most annoying thing in the world right now,
apart from lizards. and my brother.
so tell me, can they be seen now?!
OMG PHOTOBUCKET MAKE UP YOUR MIND
D'YOU WANT ME TO UPGRADE TO PRO OR NOT?!
k it doesn't matter cause im definitely not spending
"as low as $1.67 a month" for your picture-hosting lol.
SO HAI FRIENDSSSS!
what's new and how are you?!
hahaha it's been a while!
i cant believe im blogging again!
hahaha… yeah… haha.........................
okay actually i don't even know what to say )=
my life has been unbelievably mundane lately.
i mean, seriously. it's so mundane you won't believe it.
even i can't believe it.
i've been skipping school quite a lot,
cause it's not like i learn anything there anyway.
and frankly, i think i've lost interest.
this morning mom got real mad at me cause i skipped lessons again.
she thinks it's cause i slept at 3am.
i had a hard time trying to explain to her that me sleeping at 3am
has nothing to do with the fact that i skipped school.
i sleep at 3am because i don't want to go to bed when im not sleepy!
i'll just end up laying in bed and thinking about things i do not want to think about.
like, y'know… things.
and i skipped school because like i said, we don't really learn anything.
Janna said the class did some voting and picked some concepts to write.
and im like meh.
anyway, i feel really shy saying this,
but i'd really like to thank everyone who've stood by me the whole of November.
people like Ahdila, Janna, Adrian, Felicia, Elsa, Syafiq, Sharul and so many more,
including the people who wrote on my Formspring,
and even the people who asked the mother of simple questions, "Are you okay?"
you didn't have to, but you did, and i really appreciate it.
and im sorry i lied to all of you when i said "I'm fine"
but im not lying now when i tell you im really really okay.
i really am! hahaha.
well, in retrospect, November really was ridiculous.
… but it's nothing that i can't handle. (=
oh and December didn't start out very well either
and this one's kinda personal so i can't talk about it.
ive been getting these crazy heart aches.
i looked it up on the net,
it's called precordial catch syndrome
and it's common and it happens pretty often to me.
i hate it when it happens,
i always think im about to die HAHA
and i'll start thinking things like "if i die, it's okay,
i did my best to live how i want to" and shit like that to make myself feel better hahaha.
oh and i also think of Peter Pan's quote,
"to die would be an awfully big adventure."
how nice!
"Patients often think that they are having a heart attack which causes them to panic."
- Wikipedia.
lol wikipedia is so funny.
but seriously it hurts a lot when i inhale and exhale so i stop breathing
but that makes me giddy so i breathe again
and then the pain just gets worse.
HAHAHA!!!
i don't know why im laughing. i guess it is kinda funny.
oh by the way, i still wont tell anyone my Tumblr url
so please stop asking me on Formspring or wherever
cause im only going to delete the questions.
I WONT TELL YOU MEANS I WONT TELL YOU LAH OH MAI GIATTTT. hahaha.
but if you happen to come across it, yay for you.
and if you were one of them who reblogged my headbang picture,
thank you! 5000+ reblogs and likes, you crazy!!!
i reblogged it too and i wrote "HAY! look, it's me!" hahahahahahaha
and Elsa said i am humorously egoistical or something like that.
i think i'm just plain egoistical.
but to be humorous is a wonderful thing.
okay i think i'm going to shower and sleep soon.
this is absurd im pretty sure i slept through half the day.
but sleep is good, i love sleep.
gunaik! (good night)
Thursday, December 02, 2010 @ about 9:18 PM
fuck you photobucket,
you're the main reason i haven't been blogging
